In a universe where gravity becomes an enchanting dance, Oz takes an unexpected psychedelic turn, and interstellar travels go beyond the boundaries of time and space, we present to you the ultimate guide to the three best movies to indulge in while riding the cosmic wave of mind-altering substances. Get ready to embark on a journey that defies the laws of physics, stretches the limits of your imagination, and tickles your stoned senses like never before.
Gravity
No sativa has ever made you feel as anxiety-ridden as this white-knuckled adrenaline fest. You must set up a gravity bong first to enjoy this movie the way its creators intended. Hit a few bongs to take the edge off and get ready for a two-hour panic attack as you join Sandra Bullock and George Clooney miles above Earth’s surface in orbit as a sublimely beautiful space walk turns into a catastrophic nightmare.
Gorgeous visuals of outer space collide like so much space debris with the emotional trauma carried by Bullock’s character from a life-altering tragedy her character experienced before the start of the film. Exciting, edge of your seat action, not for those who have issues with near death experiences, claustrophobia, basophobia, vertigo, communist space craft, or gaping head wounds,
The Return to OZ
Smoke some indica for this one because it is about to get creepy. Come and join a young Fairuza Balk (before playing the iconic role of “Nancy” in The Craft) returning to the yellow brick road and the Emerald City in search of her friends the Scarecrow, the Tinman, and the Cowardly- Lion.
A much darker vision than the original film, we find a young Dorothy back on her Auntie Em’s and Uncle Henry’s farm shortly after the events of the original film. Dorothy’s Aunt and Uncle fear that Dorothy is delusional/mentally ill, so they take her to a local asylum for some electro-conducive shock therapy. Dorothy is saved prior to the procedure by a mysterious young girl before being whisked away by another tornado.
Many new characters and aspects of OZ from L. Frank Baum’s books are revealed such as the deadly desert, anthropomorphic rocks, chickens, and even a living sofa called “the Gump” (no relation to Forest Gump). Lunch-pail trees, roaming gangs of the disabled, protective steam-punk automatons, a collection of disembodied heads and a youth-obsessed Princess Mombi await thee.
The Flight of the Navigator
This is my favorite Disney film and would never be made today. Fire up some Alien Pebbles to get ready for this extra-terrestrial adventure. Who the f*** is ET? Nobody cares after meeting the Trimaxion Drone Ship known as “Max” and voiced by Paul Rubens who is much more charismatic and memorable compared to that lumpy brown thing Spielberg did.
So many issues that are currently taking up space in our cultural zeitgeist are themes in the film. You have an adolescent male in Florida abducted by an illegal alien so the alien can use the boy’s brain for his own purposes. Ron DeSantis is probably shooting a gun at the sky right now even reading this.
A young boy named David is shown to have a great life playing with his parents and younger brother in Florida until one day he falls into a ravine while going after his dog. David awakes confused and heads back home only to find that you can’t go back home, especially when you have been missing for eight years.
NASA and government agents want to know where the protagonist David has been after vanishing for eight years and then reappearing without aging. Everyone including David’s parents were shocked, trying to find an explanation of his whereabouts. David also has strange dreams of a voice and an object calling to him. Enter creepy government scientists who then take David to a research facility, where, thanks to a younger and not so horse-faced Sarah Jessica Parker, he is exposed to things that he has missed since being away such as Twisted Sister. “Max” finds David and the two escape on an adventure across the swamps and beaches of Florida.
With its whimsical charm and fantastical concept, this sci-fi gem pairs perfectly with your elevated state of consciousness. So, pack your space gear, light up your preferred vessel, and get ready for an otherworldly journey that will leave you both amazed and giggling like a starstruck extraterrestrial.
As our cosmic journey through the realm of stoner cinema draws to a close, we bid farewell to the ethereal realms of mind-bending visuals and nonsensical narratives. But fear not, dear readers, for the universe of cinematic wonders holds countless other treasures waiting to be explored. So, the next time you find yourself drifting through a hazy haze of herbal bliss, remember to seek out these three mind-altering masterpieces, for they will transport you to realms of wonder, laughter, and thought-provoking absurdity. And remember, it’s not just about the movies—it’s about the experience of expanding your mind, embracing the unknown, and finding a profound connection between a perfectly rolled joint and the flickering glow of the silver screen. Stay lifted, my fellow adventurers, and may your cinematic voyages be forever elevated.
– Cheddar